VBVW for February 2, 2007:
Just Getting Warmed Up

• The Very Best

Senator Joe Biden has set a new speed record for acquiring foot-in-mouth disease. One day after announcing he was running for president, Biden identified Barack Obama as the first black candidate who is “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Obama chastened him for forgetting Jesse Jackson — whom Biden ran against in 1988, when he was caught plagiarizing a speech — as well as Shirley Chisholm, Carol Moseley Braun and Al Sharpton. In fairness, though, Sharpton really is funny looking.

The Senate approved an increase in the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour. This is the first increase for burger flippers and store clerks in a decade. Meanwhile, Congressman have gotten automatic pay annual raises and now make $165,200 a year despite being less skilled than most wage slaves.

Score uno for the ladies. Former Italian Prime Minister and richest man in Italy Silvio Berlusconi received a very public comeuppance for his very public flirtations. After embarrassing his wife with his womanizing, the lovely Mrs. Berlusconi left him an angry note — on the front page of the national newspaper her husband hates most. Ti sta bene.

• The Very Worst

Don Henley announced that the Eagles would be releasing their first album of new material in 28 years. We have nothing to add. Really. It can’t get much worse and you know it.

Two freelance advertising guys were arrested in Boston for planting Cartoon Network promos that some idiots mistook for bombs. The fact that these things had been up for more than two weeks all over the country, and then shut Beantown down for a whole day, means that a whole lot of federal somebodies aren’t paying attention on a daily basis.

Barbaro, the media’s favorite nag, was euthanized. It is always humane for a horse with a broken leg to be put down—that’s the way it’s been done for centuries. So as far as we’re concerned, the owners were trying to save the horse for one reason, and it wasn’t because he was like a part of the family: it was for stud fees.