VBVW for February 23, 2007:
Out Of The Blue And Into The Sack

• The Very Best

Unlike many CEOs we’ve seen come under fire, JetBlue founder David Neeleman didn’t resign, shift blame, or shrug his shoulders after his company hit a low point last week. Instead, he enacted a Customer Bill Of Rights which not only insists paying customers are treated like humans, but may force the entire airline industry to recognize we’re not cattle.

The proposed Van Halen reunion was derailed before the first ticket was sold, sparing fans of the world’s greatest living rock guitarist from seeing their hero go down in a blaze of dysfunction. The unfortunate truth is it just hasn’t been the same since the days when Eddie and Valerie looked like the same person. Just look at Val now.

Britain’s Prince Harry is going to Iraq to serve as a troop commander for a six-month tour of duty. Hats off to the Brits for putting their money where their mouth is, especially during the same week that Tony Blair announced the planned withdrawal his troops. In America, every politician in charge of U.S. involvement in the war got their dads or buddies to get them out of military duty. Life might be different if the Bush Girls were drafted to perform at U.S.O. shows.

• The Very Worst

Librarians are refusing to carry “The Higher Power of Lucky” by Susan Patron because it mentions a dog getting bitten on its “scrotum” by a snake. A large battalion of educators has followed suit, saying 10 year olds shouldn’t be exposed to the word. Never mind that this book won the most prestigious kids book award on the planet, the Newbery Medal. These censors are the same people who let their kids watch slutty moms play bedroom bingo on “Desperate Housewives.” Guess it’s better to let them learn about anatomy by sneaking Hustler magazine out of the local convenience store.

David Geffen, who slept at the White House after giving millions of dollars to the Clintons during Bill’s time in office and is now backing Barack Obama, says that Hillary is a liar. Hillary wants Obama to apologize for Geffen’s remarks. Obama says he doesn’t have to apologize for what other people say. The grassroots spirit of working together for the nation is now on full display.

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission downgraded the safety rating of Arizona’s Palo Verde nuclear power plant, the nation’s largest. Among other things, it found that an emergency power generator had been broken for nearly three weeks. Great. Nothing like scaring people back to coal and gas just when the country is realizing it needs other sources of power. On the plus side, Palo Verde real estate just got real cheap.