VBVW for March 9, 2007:
Face the Music

• The Very Best

China raised its military budget by 17.8 percent. At first, this is appears to be a huge, terrifying leap. Then you realize that China’s military expenditure is only about $30 billion dollars, which is about 1/20th of America’s and only half of Britain’s military budgets. So China is still spending more money on making our clothes, toys, electronics, appliances than on weapons. China doesn’t need to go to war with us. It’s already in charge.

Secretary of the Army Frank Harvey resigned as the disgrace that is Walter Reed Hospital took center stage in Congress. Whether you’re for or against the war, wounded soldiers should be given the best care money can buy. In this case, that money no longer pays for a bureaucratic imbecile.

Eddie Van Halen checked into rehab one week before his band was supposed to reunite at its induction to Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. While fans will scream foul, we think Eddie needs to do something to salvage what little of his legacy he hasn’t already squandered in the last couple of years. Besides, rehab seems a small price to pay for ducking out of what is arguably the lamest Hall Of Fame on this or any other planet.

• The Very Worst

A blood clot was discovered in his leg, his best friend was convicted of perjury, he’s had more heart attacks than a retirement home, and he still wants to rule the world. Is Dick Cheney our nation’s very own Rasputin?

A 6.3 magnitude earthquake hit Indonesia, killing dozen of people and leaving thousands homeless. The next day, an Indonesian airliner caught fire after a high-speed landing, killing at least 21 people. This after the country experienced a plane crash in January and a ferry sinking in December, both killing hundreds. We’re starting to wonder if someone moved the Bermuda Triangle.

Rock band Genesis is reuniting after 15 years with Phil Collins, Mike Rutherford, and Tony Banks. Missing will be founder Peter Gabriel and guitarist Steve Hackett. We can only surmise that the show will include Collins’ recent hits from the Disney “Tarzan” soundtrack, and lots of geriatric orderlies to make sure the band survives each night.