VBVW for June 29, 2007:
You Must Be Joking

• The Very Best

According to the journal Science, researchers at Maryland’s Ventner Institute have taken the first step in creating synthetic life by transferring genetic material from one bacterium into another, transforming the second microbe into a copy of the first. The researchers claim that they can custom-design bacteria to perform functions such as producing artificial fuel or cleaning up toxic waste.

The United States Senate rejected its own highly touted immigration reform bill. Perhaps now the corporate lackeys on Capitol Hill will enforce the existing immigration laws we’ve got, which were passed in 1986 and 1965. Maybe there’s something about immigration bills cropping up every 21 years in the U.S., or maybe that’s just how often Congressmen slither out of their cocoons to infect our country.

At 23 years old, Barrington Irving became the youngest person to fly solo around the world. Even more incredibly, he’s the first black person to fly solo around the world. It’s okay to do a double-take; we couldn’t believe it hadn’t happened before, either.

• The Very Worst

To dodge a violation regarding the release of information, Vice President Dick “Dick” Cheney says he’s not part of the executive branch of government, rendering all 4th-grade text books moot.

Inflation in Zimbabwe hits 11,000 percent. Estimates are that it will be over a million percent by the end of December. Merry Christmas, Africa.

The Spice Girls reunite.