VBVW for August 10, 2007: Dimwits, Unite

• The Very Best •

The richest guy in the world is no longer Bill Gates, according to Fortune. It’s Mexico’s Carlos Slim Helú, who edged out Gates by a slim (buh!) margin of $59 billion to the über-geek’s $58 billion.

The thieves who stole three Picasso masterpieces have been nabbed by French police. A commander in charge of the investigation said the “dimwits” rolled up the paintings so tightly that they cracked the painted surface.

Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron’s home-run record. So where’s the excitement? Well, all-time baseball records just ain’t what they used to be ever since ballplayers started corking their bats and their biceps. Also, people like Hank Aaron.

• The Very Worst •

The 20 million flood-displaced people in Southeast Asia are not getting their supplies, food is running out, and disease is imminent. Try to imagine an entire country that looks like New Orleans — and hope that they, too, aren’t waiting for aid two years down the washed-out road.

Foot and mouth disease is back, and it’s brought to you by . . . government labs! Odds are that the recent outbreak in Britain was caused by viruses that escaped from a research lab.

Some clown working on an AT&T cybercast of a Lollapalooza concert bleeped Pearl Jam when they inserted anti-Bush lyrics into a cover of Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick In The Wall.” The audacity to censor Vedder and co. was almost as bad as the crowd-baiting line (”Hey, George Bush — leave this world alone”).