VBVW for December 21: Rats

• The Very Best •

In contrast to the usual report of an eradicated species, this week a new species has been discovered. A giant rodent five times the size of a common New York City rat was found in the jungles of Indonesia. A century ago, Arthur Conan Doyle wrote a Sherlock Holmes tale about a ship in Indonesia “associated with the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared.” Considering these rats are the size of some dogs, we’re still not prepared.

A recent study found that sunlight may help to prevent lung cancer. Of course, sunlight is also a primary cause of skin cancer. The burning question: which do you least want to get?

Frederick Dominguez and his three kids were rescued by helicopter after being stranded in the snow for three days. The family had ventured into the woods of California in search of a Christmas tree when they nearly became this century’s very own Donner Party.

• The Very Worst •

In Rio de Janeiro, drug traffickers opened fire on a helicopter carrying a Santa Claus who was delivering toys to one of the city’s shanty towns. Rio has more than 700 shanty towns, mostly controlled by drug lords, and you can bet that it’s going to be raining coal on them come Christmas Eve.

Brazil, Chile, and Bolivia have agreed to create a highway that will run from coast to coast across South America. The road will be 2,900 miles long and is expected to be completed in 2009, providing drug smugglers with a smoother and more scenic ride.

As the Justice Department investigates the CIA for destroying videos of interrogations and torture, President Bush says he refuses to speak about the issue any further in public. Critics are sure they can get the President to talk if they electrocute his testicles.