VBVW for March 21, 2008: Biblical Portions

• The Very Best

Happy 5th anniversary, Iraq war! The traditional gift is wood, so we’ll see if there’s any left to burn.

Melvyn I. Weiss has become the latest powerful attorney to face prison time and hefty fines for a federal offense. Weiss was paying off plaintiffs in class-action suits to ensure that his firm, Milberg Weiss, was positioned to control litigation and collect the lion’s share of enormous legal fees. Another fine example of truth, justice, and the real American way.

MIT has chosen four winning teams in its contest to develop plans for a “just Jerusalem” that can be shared by all. VBVW is anxious to learn if any of the urban developers or sociologists simply suggested paving over it.

• The Very Worst

The Federal Reserve Bank helped bail out Bear Stearns at the price of $2 a share, a mere rounding error compared to the $170 a share price the bank commanded this time last year. And instead of seeing danger signs, Wall Street reacted with its best day in almost 6 years.

Tibetan protests against China got so violent that the Dalai Lama announced he would quit his job out of frustration. Under the circumstances, we think he ought to consider “What would Jesus do?”

After a freak tornado hit downtown Atlanta, floods ravaged the rest of the South and Midwest, shutting down DFW airport and sucking a boy into a drainage pipe. Even Noah would think twice about going outside these days.