VBVW for April 4, 2008: Smarty Pants

• The Very Best

Eleven-year-old Kenton Stufflebeam pointed out to officials at the Smithsonian Institution that a 27-year old exhibit had improperly labeled “Precambrian” as an era (it is, in fact, a unit of time). Unable to break a bad habit, the Smithsonian sent Stufflebeam a letter to acknowledge his finding but mislabeled the envelope sent to him.

Apple surpassed Wal-Mart as the largest retailer of music in the U.S. However, Wal-Mart still beats Apple when it comes to selling crappy Chinese imports, guns, and real apples.

The St. Paul City Council has asked the state legislature to pass a bill that will allow the sale of alcohol until 4 AM during the 11 days that it hosts the Republican National Convention–two hours past the current last call. If the city ever hosts the Democratic National Convention, expect to see a week-long legalization of marijuana.

• The Very Worst

Billionaire entrepreneur and philanthropist Ted Turner told an interviewer that in 30 to 40 years all of the world’s crops will be gone and that the human race will have to rely on cannibalism to survive. That’s what happens when your world is defined by being the ex-Mr. Jane Fonda.

Google announced the layoff of 300 employees. So we’re guessing that the search results for the phrase “job security” no longer returns the name Google.

A new formula devised by the Department of Homeland Security shows that the western U.S. city most vulnerable to terrorist attack is not Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego or Phoenix. It is, instead, Boise, Idaho. Boise is the only Western city in the Top 10 (it is actually number 10), and government analysts aren’t quite sure how that happened. Doesn’t that make you feel secure?