VBVW for April 25, 2008: It Blowed Up Real Good

• The Very Best

In celebration of Hubble Telescope’s 18th anniversary, scientists have made available the largest collection of Hubble images ever released. Fifty-nine images of galaxies colliding serve as reminders that the universe just may go on without us.

Sam’s Club announced that it is rationing rice in the U.S. due to in part to the “Silent Tsunami” of food shortages around the world. The rice limit per customer per visit? Four 20 pound bags, or 80 pounds of rice per visit. We hope that’ll hold you through the weekend.

The Taliban blew up two ancient Buddha monuments in Afghanistan back in 2001, pissing off the entire world. However, a very bright lining to that cloud: archaelogists have now found the world’s oldest oil paintings on the cave walls behind the ruined Buddhas. Those wacky Taliban just can’t get a break when it comes to eradicating other people’s cultures.

• The Very Worst

13 so-called sorcerers in the Congo have been arrested on the charge of penis-snatching. Numerous men with penis panic claim workers of witchcraft have shrunken or stolen their junk. Now we know what happened to Nancy Grace.

Ben-Ami Kadish, 84, acknowledged he spied on America for Israel in the 1980s. Kadish handed over secrets regarding nuclear weapons, fighter jets and air defense missiles to the Israelis. With friends like these, who needs Iran? Oh wait, we know — it’s…

Hillary Clinton. Clinton announced this week she is ready to open a canister of whoopass — a nuclear canister, that is — on Iran if they lay a finger on Israel. The saber-rattling campaigner said Iran needs to know we could “totally obliterate” them if they were to cross our “ally” (see above) in the region. Big talk for someone who could barely conquer Pennsylvania.