VBVW for June 13, 2008: Triskaidekaphobia

• The Very Best

IBM and Los Alamos Laboratory unveiled a computer called Roadrunner that can perform one quadrillion operations per second. Here’s how fast that is: if every person on Earth did calculations on a calculator for 24 hours at a time, it would take all of them 46 years to do what the Roadrunner can do in one day. The best part? The computer was built using chips designed for video games.

Life expectancy in the U.S. has reached an all-time high. The National Center for Health Statistics says that children born in 2006 will on average live past the age of 78. Providing, of course, that they occasionally do something healthier than text each other 24 hours a day.

Belgian beer giant InBev has embarked on a $46 billion takeover of Anheuser-Busch. Budweiser guzzlers are crying foul that the most of American of beers will be owned by foreigners, but maybe the Belgians can make Bud Light worth drinking again.

• The Very Worst

Flooding destroyed crops in the Midwest and stopped traffic on the Mississippi River. California is having its worst drought in twenty years. Tornadoes killed boy scouts. We haven’t checked the forecast, but we’re betting that locusts and fire from heaven are just around the corner.

Two separate crane accidents occurred in Dallas, killing one and injuring several others. Bizarre crane deaths are on the rise across the country this year, making cranes the mechanical equivalent of Ted Bundy.

Triple Crown hopeful Big Brown came in dead last at the Belmont, the first time that’s ever happened to the expected winner. The horse’s owners are blaming cracked hooves, but according to recent Derby loser Eight Belles, things could have been a lot worse.