VBVW for October 31, 2008: Helloween

• The Very Best

Seventeen hundred runners (yes, 1,700) were safe and accounted for after they had gone missing when a flood interrupted the Original Mountain Marathon in Cumbria, England. Most had taken refuge in an abandoned mine. The grueling marathon is held in October, according to organizers, “to allow weather to enhance the challenge.”

Led Zeppelin has announced plan to record and tour, though vocalist Robert Plant says he won’t join them. The band looks forward to performing on key for the first time since “Moby Dick.”

Bye, Vista. Microsoft bid adieu to its long-lampooned operating system and resurrected Windows. If you’re a PC — and not a Mac — you are really happy about this.

• The Very Worst

As if Alaskan politicians hadn’t drawn enough criticism this season, Republican Senator Ted Stevens has been found guilty on seven felony counts of violating federal ethics laws. The GOP, which can hardly afford a problem this close to the election, has plotted to shoot Stevens from a helicopter.

On the other side of the fence, Democratic Senator Dianne Wilkerson of Massachusetts has been charged with taking $23,500 in bribes after FBI agents captured her on film stuffing her bra with cash in a literal under-the-table deal. Apparently she didn’t want to be outdone by a Republican boob.

Acting Israeli Prime Minister Tzipi Livni called for early elections following her failed attempt at forming a coalition government. How on Earth do the Israelis ever expect to get along with the Arabs if they can’t get along with themselves?