VBVW for November 7, 2008: Post-Partum Recession

• The Very Best

Barack Obama is elected the 44th President of the United States. ‘Nuff said.

John McCain delivered an exceptionally gracious concession speech, reminding Americans of what a good man he is — just in time for it not to matter.

You think Obama’s young? Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck was crowned the new monarch of Butan. The 28-year old is the world’s youngest monarch, making him also the world’s most eligible bachelor by a factor of too many numbers to count.

• The Very Worst

California votes to ban same-sex marriages. The Left Coast is now officially about as progressive as a clan of first generation Amish farmers.

New York wants to rename the fabled Triborough Bridge after Robert F. Kennedy. Given that the state faces a budget shortfall estimated to be in the billions, maybe they can leave well enough alone for now. Plus, the Triborough takes longer to cross than the total amount of time RFK lived in NY.

A dirtbag paparazzo named Alison Silva tried to sue Keanu Reaves for $700,000, claiming Neo had hit him with his car. The trial revealed that Silva went to the hospital with an old injury, leaving the jury to wonder whether the defendant or the plaintiff was the worse actor.