Feel free to add your comments below. We might even add them to the book.

If you want to get into national politics, go to Yale. If you want to be a zealous attorney with a future so bright you have to wear shades, go to Harvard. If you want to spend four years determining the actual construct of dimension 11 in string theory, go to CalTech. But if you want to behave like any other hormone-engorged 18-to-22 year old, think about which schools offer extra-curricular activities based on consuming mass quantities of reality-altering substances. And, no, we’re not talking about Twinkies.

You want to party till the cows come home, head for these institutes of higher learning. Note how many of them are located south of the Mason Dixon line or west of the Mississippi. That’s your clue.

• THE VERY BEST PARTY SCHOOLS

University of Tennessee, Knoxville
University of Texas, Austin
Indiana University, Bloomington
University of Massachusetts, Amherst (ZooMass)
University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB)
University of Florida
Arizona State University
Louisiana State University
Penn State
University of Wisconsin, Madison
University of Mississippi
Cal State, Chico

Okay, so maybe getting wasted after every sporting event, or every class, isn’t why you’re going to college. Maybe you’re looking for a little solitude, yet a Tibetan monastery seems a bit too far from home. Plus, you just want a decent education, not some liberal Ivy League indoctrination into the foibles of our society. Then consider one of these fine schools, where a hard partier is the stud who drank one too many Frescas.

• THE VERY WORST PARTY SCHOOLS

Brighman Young University, Utah
Wheaton College, Illinois
Wesleyan College
Bryn Mawr College
Grove City College
College Of The Ozarks
Samford University
Wellesley College
Sacred Heart University
Brandeis University
University of California, Davis