Here’s an excerpt from our upcoming book THE VERY BEST AND VERY WORST: FOOD.

We want your feedback. Not your food back. Put it down below. The feedback. Not the food. You can go ahead and eat the food.

We all know there’s no such thing as a true aphrodisiac, but that doesn’t stop the Chinese or porno advertisers from claiming that eating certain foods will have you checking into the local Love Shack faster than you can say “slurp this spaghetti.”

• THE VERY BEST APHRODISIAC FOODS

Oysters
Chocolate
Hot peppers
Filet mignon (because it costs so damn much)
Truffles
Bananas
Strawberries, raspberries
Honey
Alcoholic beverages

• THE VERY WORST APHRODISIAC FOODS

Baby food (all brands, all kinds)
Oatmeal
Juicy Juice
Ketchup
Ranch-style Doritos
Buffalo wings
Burritos
Pulled-pork BBQ sandwiches